I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize