..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
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