Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
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