dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
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