We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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