mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
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It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
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I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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