My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
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Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
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Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
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