dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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