I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
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Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
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You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
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