Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize