So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
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He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
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I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
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