he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Randomize