I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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