After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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