I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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