The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize