if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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