I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize