Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
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