if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
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