You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
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She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
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She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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