Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Randomize