I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
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