I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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