I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
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