I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
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