So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
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I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
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The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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