Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize