So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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