I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have already put on my inside pants.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize