If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
We are all done wearing pants today
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize