Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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