Don't you send me to vm
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize