idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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