i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I can't turn off my feet"
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
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