when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I had to cum in my sink.
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