Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Randomize