but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize