We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
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