it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
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well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
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It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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