And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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