what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the liver wants what the liver wants
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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