my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
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