I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
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Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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