Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
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I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
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That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize