it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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