how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize