You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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