I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
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