You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
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